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From Skinny Girl to Spanx Grandma

THE SKINNY GIRL OF THE FIRST FIFTY YEARS OF MY LIFE NOW HAS A WEIGHT PROBLEM AND IT IS CALLED MENOPAUSE. IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS CALLED “THE WALKING STICK WITH TITS.” I RECEIVED NO OFFERS TO GO TO HOMECOMING, MUCH LESS PROM.
The skinny girl of the first fifty years of my life now has a weight problem and it is called menopause. In high school, I was called “the walking stick with tits.” I received no offers to go to homecoming, much less prom. In college, I was nothing more than another brick in the wall instead of a brick house.
I have been a flight attendant for a little over 30 years and being skinny was a part of my career. At 23 years old, I went for my group interview, where I had to be weighed. I was 5’8 ½” tall and weighed 117 lbs. I never worried about my weight because I was still wearing sizes in the girls’ department.
As a flight attendant in training during those days, we were weighed once a week for four weeks and I never gained a pound. Once I finished and was on the line, I was weighed every month for the first six months and there was never a worry about my weight. Thereafter, it was once a year, and I couldn’t weigh more than 142 lbs. I was always 10 to 20 lbs. below that parameter for the last 29 years.

As I go through all of these gymnastics, trying get back into my smaller skinny jeans, my social life with my husband and my girlfriends has really picked up. Finding clothes to wear that are stylish and make me feel fabulous and confident is becoming a major challenge. I was used to grabbing any dress out of my closet and feeling amazing at any function. Now it is all about making sure my Spanx are clean and ready, and I am praying that I can make it into something—anything—that isn’t a muumuu. I pull out almost everything in my closet that is black and our bedroom looks like a tornado, soaked with tears and scattered in frustration. Are you a frustrated fashionista? Would you hire a stylist? Or a closet coach?

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